A Flat is Just a Flat

A poem by Al Carp:

Riding down the street one day I get a flat

Got it, changed it; that was that

Picked up some glass: pain in the ass

But heck, a flat is just a flat

Next day just a quick spin

Another day another flat

Was this one a rock, or maybe a pin?

Is Middle Road almost done?

Five weeks? Two weeks or maybe just one?

Well heck, a flat is just a flat

Tomorrow comes another day

What’s going to get in my way?

A broken spoke! What can I say

Get pissed off, throw my bottles in the bay!

Toss my bike across the lawn, not in the mood to play

Screw it, a flat is just a flat

Today nothing can go wrong

Put on my headphones, listen to my favorite song

Riding down 88, careful not to hate

Wankers yelling from their cars

Then just like that

Damn! My eighth friggin' flat!

New Mavic wheels, Vittoria Tires too

Five hundred bucks down the drain

No more feeling blue

Gonna save me some hurt and pain

Ain’t even gonna talk about the month of rain

What happens next?

I ride down Tuttle Road, some redneck throws crap at me out his window, get honked at, almost run off the road, hit damn unmarked new road construction and trash my new “indestructible ksyrium overpriced piece of crap rear wheel” have to go pay $225 for a new one plus buy a new cassette and chain, have to miss my ride today because it takes extra time to change them out 'cuz mavic ships with Japanese hubs (and who puts Japanese hubs on an Italian frame?), can’t get a date because I am pissed off all the time because I am spending so much money on my bike, have to go back to school next week and spend my time writing stupid poems about my flat tires!